Years ago, one of my therapists gave me homework to help me think more rationally. My therapist used material from the institute for Rational Emotive Therapy. One of them is a list of irrational ideas people adhere to. I know that I still have irrational ideas that dictate some of my actions. It is difficult to logic kick out old lines of crummy thinking about relationships.
1. I MUST have sincere love and approval almost all the time from all the people who I find significant.
2. I SHOULD be THOROUGHLY competent, adequate and achieving in all possible respects.
3. Some people ARE bad, wicked, or vile and SHOULD (or MUST) be punished.
4. If things do not go (or stay) the way I very much want them to, it would be AWFUL, CATASTOPHIC or TERRIBLE!
5. Unhappiness is EXTERNALLY caused and I CANNOT control it (unless I control the other person).
6. One SHOULD remain upset or worried if faced with a dangerous or fearsome reality.
7. It is EASIER to avoid responsibility and difficulties than to face them.
8. I have a RIGHT to be dependent and people (or someone) SHOULD be strong enough to rely on (or take care of me).
9. My early childhood experiences MUST continue to CONTROL me and determine my emotions and behavior!
10. I SHOULD become upset over my and other people’s problems or behavior.
11. There is invariably ONE right, precise, and PERFECT solution and it would be TERRIBLE or CATASTROPHIC if this perfect solution is not found.
12. The world (and especially other people) SHOULD be fair, and justice (or mercy) MUST triumph.
